I'm craving for something goody.

I want to go on photo tripping. I choose tagaytay as my first destination. Although the date hasn't been settled yet and a someone who will willingly tag along with me. HAHA! Anyone who likes? Just tell me. :) I want to unwind. Relax in the sense that I can exclude myself with the toxic life that school gives me. I wanna go nature tripping. Have i said that i'm interested in photography? I love taking pictures of anything or something unusual to th eye. I want to focus or give more attention into nature, places that i've never been, interesting things, and awesome view. I always has this urge to make a photo as catchy and as interesting as it may seem. I'm not actually planning to take professional photography, i'm contented with this. Just learning how to make a shot that's worth a thousand pictures is enough for me. It's just a food for my passion. But damn! i'm inlove with my camera! :) *wink* Memories are so much precious for me. I want to have photos that I can look back 20 years from now in which would remind me of happy&sad moments, something to laugh out and go emo. Haha! Places, people, food, things, everyday photos, events and a lot lot more! I dunno if I have a talent or what but I'm willing to learn. Though I'm an amateur, I know in myself that i love what i'm doing. Isn't it obvious cos i have my multiply and my flickr. hehe! Yeah, I want to learn a lot of thingies. I want to try those that i've never done in my life before. I'm currently at the point in my life wherein i'm starting to catch up the missed opportunities that i had in my past. I'm searching and continously making the most of what life can offer me. I know it is one step at a time. I'm savoring each and everyday that i got to face the world with another bright sunshine.

"I never want to lose my enthusiasm to live in this crazy world with lots of crazy people cos they're the one that makes me complete and a better person."

Photo tripping is what i'm currently craving now. So please help/adopt me . HAHA! Seriously, anyone who wants to come along is very much welcome so tara lets bagets HAHA!. :)

Where are you?

So much things to do and so many stories to tell but i'm too lazy to do all of it as of now. But the last couple of days for me were fun! fun! fun! The plant visit/summer outing of IE dept. , gimmick on saturday, last minute make-up class last sunday and more of it! I'll try to narrate each and every detail when i'm in the right mood to blog. Please bear with me. And of course! It wouldn't be complete if pictures are out of the scene. I gonna upload to kill your browser soon! *wink*

******

Life for me has always been a cycle. There's a time when you feel as if you had everything you ever wanted in your life. It's like you want to stop the moment to keep it forever and make it stay. Uh, that was the happy time of your life. But it's a series of test. In any way, you have to step down in the pedestal that u've been not cos you want to but because life push you through. Nothing lasts forever, I believed. Change is the only constant thing in this crazy world, and so I agree. Why am i saying these things? Because i've experienced it myself. People come and go, good things never lasts, friends may stay and others will leave, lessons can be learned along your journey. You must have to determine if it makes you a lot stronger or more weaker. Life is my melting point. Whenever i talk about it, it gives me a weird feeling. As if my heart beats faster and my mind starting to do it's work. I miss having a conversation with a person whom i can share the beauty as well as the evil's of life. How I imagine myself now having an intimate talk with someone (whoever he/she may be) who gonna understand and relate to me the feeling of being passionate about life. Hell yeah! I'm passionate about it. The things that makes out with it, the people, the experiences, the place, and all you could imagine. I want a conversation while over looking the sky and the stars, with the breezy feeling of the wind touching my hair, the coldness of the night and the feeling or magic it may offer. I can talk anything or everything, I can listen, I can give advice or give my point of view or just simply be with my companion just to give him/her an assurance that i'm still there. I'm not talking of a romantic date or anything about love. I'm speaking in behalf of myself who wants to see the beauty and appreciate even the small things in life. He can be a friend, a companion, or anyone who has a sense or even a spontaneous talker will do. So anyone who wants to share those moment with me, i'm here :). Sheesh!! I'm soo drama evah! But I hope it could happen. Maybe someone out there is also wishing or dreaming the things that i've said, i can feel it. Our paths just couldn't cross at the moment. *sana madapa sya* HAHA! kidding! :)

d0rk is meeh!

Dork

-Often used interchangeably with nerd or geek.
Dorks are typically more noted for their quirky personality and behavior rather than their interests or IQ which may or may not be on level with traditional geeks or nerds. They tend to be more humorous and extroverted and don't mind laughing at themselves or with others at themselves, as the case may be.

someone who does things that are kinda silly and not neccessarily cool but always cute.Someone who has odd interests, and is often silly at times. A dork is also someone who can be themselves and not care what anyone thinks, while at the same time being loveable and very personable, often having many friends due to wittiness, often loves video games. Not to be confused with nerd or geek or dweeb.

-urbandictionary

Oh well, I admit i am. Self-confessed. My personality jives with the definition. HAHA! I can enumerate some reasons. The things that i enjoy doing:

-I enjoy laughing at myself. I can laugh real hard together with crazy people (friends) I don't care what others may comment as long as i express my happiness through laughters. (though we don't degrade or criticize others, its laugh for happy&funny bonding.)

-I enjoy happy moments.(who doesn't ayt?) I am a girl who always looks at the brighter side after all things fall apart. I never lose the enthusiasm to live. Damn! Life is good! Don't you agree?!

-I enjoy conversation over coffee, lunch or even dinner. Even sleep over at some friend's house.

-I enjoy being witty at times. I can be mean when i'm provoked, but i can also be an angel when i want to. HEHE!

-I enjoy sharing my kikayness with my suparfriends. (with the gurls)

-I enjoy making other people laugh cos of my humour and being a so-so friendly person.

-I enjoy simple cheap thrills. I can go to places as a light packer. Same as wandering to a place i've never set my foot on. That's what i like. Spending the thrill with friends. Cos good memories and strong bonding happens there.

-I always smile. Rarely you see me with a sad face. I love reminscing even in my mind the funny memories with superfriends or even the crazy things that i did with my life. Oh, so nostalgic! HEHE!

-I enjoy staying in front of the computer and do some of my geeky stuff. Browsing the net, blogging, photos, at lots more!

-I enjoy spending my time just by reading novels. Chic-lit, inspirational, suspense, love and etc. Yeah, if me giving a chance to have the whole time in the world makes me do all the things that I wanna do. I want my enthusiasm to keep on going. I don't want to stop at nothing. I don't want to have any regrets in the end with "what if's".

Kung Hei Fat Choi! :)

It's Chinese New Year! Year of the Pig. Frankly, i don't know any specific tradition that chinese has. Maybe the basic, yeah I'm aware. I brought home last night a Tikoy from Wilheim's (my blockmate) family. Yeah, we dropped by at his house in Binondo Terraces at Binondo, Manila cos we went on the same route. It was not in the plan actually. But I love it, Karren and I shared the happiness of simple cheap thrills. HEHE! It was fun! :) And it was Wilheim's dad birthday too! Last night was bisperas for Chinese New year ayt? His dad gave us tikoy and it was in big package. YEHEY! We're glad cos we didn't expect it. We just went there to stay for about half an hour and have a couple of drinks coz we're damn thristy! China Town is really a place for chinese. I saw lots lots of them. The building that they've live in has a majority of Chinese tenants. And finally, i heard Wilheim speak in Chinese. HAHA! My ears we're in! I enjoyed how he and his dad talks that way. Shoo, we got amazed! HEHE! thanks Heim, for letting us stay in your house and for the tikoy! Sa uulitin. hehe! They have this shelves in their house with super duper loaded with dvd/cd's in random but mostly, korean. Oh my, his dad is a collector of those. I think they've had all the koreanovela series.

Karren and meeh @ Wilheim's crib. :)

with the supah cutie kim (wilheim's youngest sister)

piktures! piktures!

meeh with the big gift for heim's dad!

Karren modelo uno. haha!

We enjoy simple cheap thrills.

ayan ang kanilang super loaded na shelves with lotslots of dvd/cd. haha!

******

Pop prepared sopas for us. Y'know what i love about sunday? It's a family day. I get to spend time at home and have a taste of real lutong bahay recipe. Plus, spending good time with my two siblings and pop. Though we really haven't talk that much at home cos of busy sched, just by seeing each other during sundays and making your presence be felt is enough to us. We're not the mushy type of family, i guess.

******

The weather is sh*tly HOT! This is what i honestly hate! Yea, I love the beach during summer season but the feeling of hotness even if you're in front of a fan or in a airconditioned room doesn't make any sense! Is this pre-summer? Or just the effect of global warming? watevah! You know the feeling of sticky body cos of too much sweat? haha! yikes!

******

I'm pre-occupied. Lots of things to do at school, home and with my not-so fabuloso social life! HAHA! Adik. Mumay told me a while ago that there will be Car Show. She wanna come and I wanna go too! HAHA! Goodluck nlng sa pagiging lakwatsera ko. I have to managed and spend my time wisely but hell! I'm happy and I'm enjoying it. I just wish that there will be no bad effects in the end. Needless to say I'm not entertaining the idea, really. I know to myself i can manage. I feel my worth now more than before and i guess, it's all that matters.

more pics here.

Para sa'yo:

Alam kong mahirap, pero kinakaya. Alam kong masakit, pero pilit humihinga. Kamusta ka na? Medyo matagal na rin di tau nakakapagusap. Matagal-tagal na rin mula ng marinig ko ang iyong halakhak, isang tunay na halakhak, pati narin ang yong tinig. Para ngang hindi ko na matandaan ang bawat hugis ng iyong mukha. Oo, matagal na nga.

****

Hindi ako bulag at lalong malakas pa ang aking pandinig. Ayoko magtanong, baka hindi kayanin ng pride ko ang isasagot mo. Gusto ko magbingi-bingihan at ipikit and mata kahit panandalian lang. Kaylangan ba talagang balik-balikan mo ang iyong nakaraan ngayon? Ung siya bago ako. Ayokong maniwala pero hindi ako manhid. Eto ba ang ganti mo skin? Sadya ba? Sana nga'y huwad at pagpapanggap lang ng iyong ginagawa. Sana'y paraan mo lang ito upang mapukaw ang aking pansin. At ang mahulog kang muli sa knya ay taliwas na sa mga pangyayari. Ewan ko. Hindi ko alam.

****

Gusto kita pasalamatan. Utang ko sa'yo kung ano ako ngayon. Sa loob ng halos dalawang taon nating magkakilalala at magkahawak kamay, madami ako natutunan. Madami ako nakita. Madami magagandang alaala sa piling mo na masayang balik-tanawin. Lugar, bagay, food trip, adventures, at marami pang iba. Lahat ng yon ay itatago ko sa aking puso ngayon at magpakailanman. Wag kang mag-alala, andito pa rin ako kung kailangan mo ng isang karamay. Hindi kita kayang talikuran ng ganon na lang. Hindi kita kayang pabayaan ng basta-basta. Pero, marahil hanggang isang pagigng espesyal na tao na lamang sa puso at buhay ko ang tangi kong maiaalay sa'yo. Hanggang dun lang muna sa pagkakataong ito. Walang labis, walang kulang. Madaming dahilan. Madami sitwasyong kaylangan isaalang-alang. Sana'y lubos mong maintindihan.

****

Salamat sa lahat-lahat. Salamat sa isang tunay na pagmamahal. Salamat sa pagsasamang masaya at iniidolo ng iba. Salamat sa lahat ng hirap at sakripisyo. Salamat sa pag-alala na labis na nakakatunaw ng puso. Salamat sa pagiging tunay na karamay at katuwang ko. Salamat sa pagintindi sa mga hang-ups ko, sa paghintay ng oras ko. Salamat sa mga masasayang experience na naranasan ko sa piling mo. Salamat sa pagiging isang huwarang boypren. Salamat sa pagtanggap sa totoong ako, sa patuloy na pagmahal sakin kahit na ako na ang pinaka-mataray na nakilala mo. Salamat sa pagtanggap sa mga kaibigan ko at itinuring na barkada mo na din. Salamat sa bulaklak ( na matagal na rin akong di nakatanggap mula sa'yo). Salamat sa mga sulat at regalo na sumisimbolo ng pagmamahal mo. Salamat sa Giant Pillow. (hehe!) Salamat sa pagdamay sakin sa pagiging lakwatsera ko. Salamat sa lahat ng pawis na ginugol mo sa initan upang masamahan lang ako. Salamat sa patuloy na pagintindi. Salamat sa pagiging isang tunay na kaibigan. Salamat sa pagpapakilala mo skin sa mundo mo pati na rin sa mga mahal mo sa buhay. Salamat sa pag-share mo ng sarili, buhay at pangarap mo skin. Salamat sa mga importanteng tao sa buhay mo dahil tinanggap nila ko ng bukas-kamay. Salamat sa pagturing nila na parang tunay nila akong anak (and it makes my heart melt knowing that). Higit kanino man, salamat ng marami syo mismo. At walang katapusang salamat.

****

Sori sa nagawa ko. Sori pagiging isang ewan. Sori kung nasaktan kita. Sori at magulo pa rin ang isip ko. Sori kung naging isang tagong bahagi ka ng buhay ko. Sori kung di kita naipakilala sa buong mundo. Sori kung kalahati lang ng mundo ko ang naishare ko sa'yo. Sory sa pagtataray. Sori sa sakit at hapdi na naidulot ko. Sori kung di man lang kita naipaglaban sa kanila (nung ayos pa tayo). Sori kung natakot ako. Sori at di kita naintindihan, nais ko lang naman na mapabuti ka. Sori kung bumalik nga ang mga kaibigan mo at ako naman ang nawala. Sori kung pakiramdam mo, binitiwan na kita .Sori kung ako lang ang naging buhay mo. Sori kung sakin lang umikot ang mundo mo. Sori kung nasa dilim na bahagi ka pa rin ng buhay ko. Sori kung di kita naipagmalaki sa kanila. Sori sa lahat-lahat ng pagkakamali ko. At higit kanino man, sori ng marami sa'yo mismo. At walang katapusang sori.

****

Alam kong hindi lang ako ang nagkamali. Aminin na natin na pareho tayong may kasalanan sa pangyayari. Hindi ko na sasabihin kung ano sa parte mo, ikaw dapat ang makadiskubre nun. Dahil ako, inaamin ko. Oo, meron din akong sariling parte ng pagkakamali at gagamitin ko yun upang magbago habang hinahanap ko ang sarili ko.

****

Ayoko mangako dahil mismo ako, di din sigurado. Ayoko pangunahan ang hinaharap. Marahil, hanggang dito na lang muna tayo. Kaylangan na muna siguro nating magpahinga at huminga ng wala ang isa't isa.. Hayaan nlang naten si destiny ang humatol. Bsta tatandaan mo, andito pa rin ako. Kahit bilang isang kaibigan na lang muna. Ako pa rin ung taong nakilala mo. Handa pa rin akong dumamay at iaalay ang aking balikat at kamay kung ito'y kaylangan mo, kung kaylangan mo ng isang tunay na kaibigan. Itatak mo yan sa'yong puso.

****

"perhaps, some good things never bound to lasts".

"HAPPY HEART'S DAY TO

EVERYONE!" :)

Pre-Valentines. Spread the Love.

Weee, Valentines is in the air. Do you feel it? :) Two nights to go before the most awaited day for lovers and to those who are inlove. HEHE! How would your valentines be? As for me, i guess it would not be so "cold" as well as not something "sweet", perhaps i'm in the middle state. HAHA! But it's okey for me. Valentines day is not all about two people who are inlove. It's also LOVE for family, friends, and to GOD! People who don't have somebody to share the "happy lovers day", don't be sad or bitter. Let's appreciate every little things around us and try to look who's worth the love. There are your friends, whom you always share the fun and happiness of your youth. They are the one whom you can reveal your true self yet still embrace you with open arms. Your family, who still stick with you through thick and thin. Who still loves you even if you seem their worst child after all. Who still look and wish the best in you after you failed them in one way or another. Let us made them feel that we love them among any other things in this world. They're the reason why we keep on surviving in this empty world. And lastly, our savior, GOD. It's all about him. No questions asks. His the main reason why we keep on breathing. And let's give the credit to him. So why the sad face? Valentines day is just around the corner. A partner is not the solution to be happy in that day. There are lots of reason to smile and have fun. We just have to open our eyes and let it see the beauty of life even if we doesn't have somebody to call our "special someone":)

Someone asked me a while ago: "Pano pag binigyan kita ng flowers sa valentines, tatanggapin mo?" then I make-face to him as if i'm saying like "Bakit naman?", and then he just smiled. I dunno if I offended him in doing that. Hell yess! I would appreciate it, who wouldn't want to received a nice flowers ayt? It's every girls dream. But sadly, i cannot bring it at home (parents rule) and that what i was thinking when he asked me that and so i replied as if i'm not interested. Pheww, I'm still young pa daw kasi said my folks. HAHA! Enough of it.

I took this photo while Karren and I was in school's pavillion(under the umbrella), waiting for our next class last thursday. I actually got inspired. Never mind the pineapple juice HAHA!. It's was my finger (the left) and Karren (right) met together to form that heart shape. Spread the Love guys! Valentine day comes only once a year. Let the important people in our lives made them feel that we cherish them so much and they have a special place in our heart no matter what. This is the time to say *mushy*sweet nothings HAHA! I'm thinking of giving a heart-felt letter to my friends. Something to smile for, and words to be remembered by heart.

*Valentines Day is coming!* :)

A few good beers and a few good laugh.

My friday was spent with friends. Super FUN! Amazingly AWESOME night. :) We had a few drinks in Pier One. June, May and I do some emo talk while waiting for Karren. I guess, the agenda for the night was well accomplished by us. Yess! We planned it up, so that any gaps or any misunderstanding againts each other can be solved. It's a GREAT friendship! We don't want to waste it for hell. Laughing is our forte. I pressumed that's how all of us express ourselves. We had a good talk, and a few beers. It's girls-bonding getaway. Just lame Marianne didn't come along. We waited for Karren that seems eternity and she came in late. There's a live band performing, Karren and May got hooked on listening. HAHA! We went to Cian's place at Vito Cruz right after, and continue the team building. That's where real hard drink took place. Phooey, I got really tipsy mann but i could still control myself though. I guess, i have a high tolerance to it. It's been a while since I got a taste of alcohol. HAHA! Such a lame for me. But last night was a cool bonding! I hope to make it happen again. Being drunk and tipsy as you can be, setting aside your problems, dance as if no one is watching, sing like no one is listening, laugh as if there's no tomorrow, and speak your heart out are good refuge once in a while. Letting yourself be drown in alcohol makes you loosen up a little. We slept over at his place coz were too drunk to go home besides, streets were not safe in that ungodly hour of the night. I woke up early morning cos of a laboratory class, my lab report was made in the classroom and I came in late although it doesn't matter that much to my prof. HEHE! Anyhow, classmates also made their report there so i think i shouldn't felt guilty for neglecting it. :) Actually, i haven't gotten enough sleep. I was really drowsy during my last class today. I wanna crawl up to bed and have some nicey and comfy rest. I didn't got any good sleep cos Cian is such an insomniac! While the rest were already sleeping and sluggish in bed, Cian keeps on talking to me even if i'm already half asleep due to the effect of the drinks we had. He said he can't sleep yet so he's opening a conversation. What i gonna do?! The poor man seems to be really sleep deprived so I listen to all his talks as long as I can hold my sanity. :) Haist!

That night was really great for all of us. Happy moments with friends. I've been eager to do that before actually, I just couldn't cos of some reasons I wouldn't elaborate more. As of now, I'm enjoying my life and taking what's life can offer me. I think I already found what makes me satisfied and happy in the real sense of the world. Blah-blah. Too much of talking. I better get off to bed. Enjoy the pics! :) I'll be uploading more in my multiply when I got time. Toodle-loo.

more pics here.

Libog lang pla.

Sa araw-araw na takbo ng buhay ko, minsan dumarating sa puntong napapaisp ako kung ano na ngyari skin. Kung may nagbago ba, may nadagdag, or my kulang pa ba? Umiikot ang aking buhay sa aking mga kaibigan, pamilya, eskuwelahan, bahay at kung ano pang anik-anik na dala ng pagiging isang babae ko. Labing siyam na taon na akong humihinga sa mundo. At sa mga karanasan sa buhay marami akong natutunan. Minsan my punto na pakiramdam ko tinalikuran ako ng mundo, minsan naman nakikisama siya skin, ung tipong ramdam ko na nakikisaya sya, nikikisaliw sa sayaw na nagpapaindak skin.

Ngayon, napaisip ako. Habang tumatanda ang tao, dumadami rin ang kanyang pangangailangan, gusto, luho, karanasan, damdamin, at kung ano-ano pang side trip. Ako? Syempre! Isa din ako sa mga tao na yun. Kabilang din ako sa kanila. Marami din ako gusto noh, sino bang hindi? At nais kong isa-isahin.

Mga gusto kong gawin sa sarili at buhay ko at present:

• Gusto kong magpakulot. Ung kulot na buhok na tama lang, mining d super kulot to the max. Gusto ko ung tip lang ng hairlaloo ko.


• Gusto kong kulayan ang aking buhok ng medium brown( suggest ni bummage) o di kaya burgundy? Pula kaya?


• Gusto kong magkaron ng Pusha pink na bag para kapartner ng jacket.


• Gusto kong magkaron ng koleksyon ng Chucks(shoes) na may iba-ibang kulay.


• Gusto kong matutong manigarilyo at magpaka adik dito ng isang linggo lang sympre! (di ko kaya forever eh) at makisama sa yosi break.


• Gusto kong lumaklak kasama mga kaibigan. Ako ang tanggero, tomador, promotor, lahat na pwera lang ang taya! :)


• Nais kong mag-scuba diving.


• Gusto kong mag-bungee jumping (tama ba spelling?) at mag wall climbing pati na rin umakyat ng bundok.


• Gusto kong magpakaliberated (kahit alam kong di ko kaya!:c sbi nga ni van dalagang pilipina daw ako HAHA!)


• Gusto kong maranasan maging isang lalaki ng one week!
  
• Gusto kong itry maging totoong bitch at karirin toh!


• Gusto kong magbakasyon sa isang bukirin, at magtanim kaya ng palay? (HAHA!)


• Pinapangarap kong ikutin ang buong mundo.


• Gusto kong magpakadalubhasa sa pag manipulate ng Adobe Photoshop CS.


• Dream kong maging isang web designer ng isang sikat na fashion Magazine.


• Gusto kong mag modelo (ng billboard? hehe)


• Eager akong mag-drive ng malalaking kotse at syempre gusto ko din matuto kung pano.


• Matindi ang kagustuhan ko na mag road trip kasama ang kaibigan o isang espesyal na tao(yikee!) *blush* (sino kaya? haha).


• Ang pumunta sa Tagaytay, Antipolo, at Bohol ang naglalaro sa aking isipan sa mga panahon na toh.


• Gusto ko ng PINK pero humahanga ako sa GREEN.
  
• Adik akong bilhin ang iba pang available na kulay ng bago kong bili na jacket which is Green and Black
• Gusto kong sumayaw (sa bar syempre) kasama ulit sina Karren and super friends.
• Mapanood ang sunset at sunrise ng walang kakurap-kurap.
• Gusto kong sumigaw, magpagulong-gulong, tumalon at umindak.
• Magkaron ng sandamakmak na libro (novels) sa aking bookshelves.
• Manood ng Car Show na worth it.
• Makatapak sa Italy (para madalaw ko ang aking minamahal na Ina).
• Mag tour around the globe with a diplomat visa (asa?!)
• Matuto ng iba’t- ibang lenggwahe at interesado din ako sa culture ng iba’t ibang bansa.
• Sana'y makapag aral ako ng International Studies.
• At higit sa lahat, gusto kong maranasan o makamtan lahat ng gusto ko (kahit parang imposible ung iba).

Sangkatutak ang gusto kong gawin at mangyari sa buhay ko. Kahit mismo ako nalulula eh. Pero sana at higit sa lahat ay sana makamit ko nga ang mga ito. Hindi ko ineexpect na isang iglap lang, alam kong sa aking journey malay naten matupad isa-isa dba?

Ang aking sinabi ay bunga lamang ng aking malikot na imahinasyon, ika nga ni daena (kaibigan at kapwa blogger), LAHAT ng yan ay LIBOG lang.

UNTITLED.

Perhaps things would never be the same again. I dunno what should I feel for the moment. I'm still confused if this is the way i really wanted to be. Or maybe I was not used to it? Or I just couldn't cope with the situation at the moment? It takes time, i know.

I'm not always the cry-baby type of girl. But of course, we're humans and we have emotions. Crying is one of our nature. As for me, i say that if ever you see a tear falling from my eyes it's ONE TIME, BIG TIME. It doesn't mean that I have a heart of stone or a cold one or i don't even know how! It's just i grew up learning how to shield my emotion. I've been hurt in my past journey. And I used it to stand still. I've experience to expect too much then gaining nothing in the end. Through life, i learned that strong people stays in the arena and the weak easily loses. I don't gamble with life. I live with it and try to learn in any possible way. I always had this strong barrier in my self that only people I trust can see what's within. True, i am a secretive person. I value my privacy that much. I'm not used being the "talk of the town". I prefer more being the one who just keep silently but when you look deeper, you'll realized that there's more within.

Beneath the surface, things are not as perfect as they seem. I i found out that only people who trully care about me could actually notice it. Behind the smile and a soundy laugh is a girl who struggle to find her own happiness in a way of giving up something that matters to her life but can't do nothing about it but to give up cos that's what want life and faith to be. Call it destiny or following the right trail, whichever you prefer. And in your life's struggle you would actually know who you're real friends are. Some was just a friend for a moment, some would go, passed by or just come along, some would used you, some who are not true and some who would frankly ask, "what's going on with you, and why are you sad?, or is there something wrong?" I guess, the latter are the kind of friends who I can call treasurable. People who doesn't have to be with me all the time but still takes time to ask me that kind of question. :) Thanks guys! *GroupHug*

It may seem surreal but i dream of this perfect moment. (the photo) I took this when i passed by at the Baywalk late last year. Seems perfect for me. A very romantic ambiance. I want to go back here once again and hopefully catch in my very own eyes the same scene in the picture....together with the hands of SOMEONE who would dare to truly make my heart beat again. :) *wishful thinking*

the last two days!

Sunday. I woke up early even if i still feel sleepy. I have to do my laundry for the day. Stayed at the laundry area for almost 3 hrs. Whoo! Hands got worn out. After that, I rest for an hour then prepared myself cos i'm going to meet up with Karren at North Edsa (again?) HAHA! While waiting, i roamed around the mall. And sheesh, i can't refuse to myself in buying that pusha pink jacket that I saw. I got attracted the first time i lay my eyes on it and the next time i know i already handed the receipt. Pheww! Malls is really a big big tempation to me that's why i'v been going out rare this days. Tried to go home as early as possible but way from North Edsa to my place (and vice-versa) is really something! I supposed to review cos I had an exam the following day but what should i expect? The girl was tired and half asleep when she got home. I just made a note to myself to come early in school to refresh my mind.

Monday. I met up with Sherwin in rob's place, ermita after my class. Jeez, it's been a while since the last time we went there together. Kinda miss the mall trips before. Decide to watch Blood and Chocolate cos he already seen the A Night at the Museum. The movie was good. It's a way interesting cos of a love that they want to fight againts all odds. We stroll for an hour, look for something interesting like gadgets! I adore the Mac laptop! Mymymy, i think it's almost perfect. I want to have ONE only it is shockingly priced and that I know I couldn't afford! We look for digicams cos he want to replaced his old one. Sherwin has been a gadget freak eversince. HEHE! I think I acquired my interest to gadgets cos of him. But it's okey as long as you limit yourself to what you can only have ayt? Mrs. Fields cookies were really yummy as in YUMMY! :) I only had a taste of it and I think i got addicted for I am wanting some more. Yey! It's different among others. Hmmpf! I gonna buy another set when I go to mall next time. For me it's one of the best! HAHA! Really addictive. *smile*smile*

kwentong karanasan!

4:45pm. Kahapon. Biyernes. Inaya ako ni Karren na pumunta ng Sm North Edsa. D naman talaga ako sasama, at wala din akong balak sumama. Bkit nya ako inaya? Ksi SALE sa Sm. 3-day sale. Pero dahil mejo badtrip ako ngayong araw na to, at gusto kong maglabas ng sama ng loob sa tinuturing kong tunay na kaibigan, nagpaubaya na ako. Eto lang din kasi ung time na pwede kami magusap dalawa. Naisip ko, sa byahe ko na lang ikkwento sa kanya ang problema ko. At ayun nga, nag abang kami ng fx na may karatulang project 6, pero napansin ko na sa 30 minutos naming pagiintay at mukhang tutubuan na kami ng ugat sa paa, la pa ring fx na dumadaan. Actually meron pero ayaw nila maglabas ng karatula na di ko mawari sa anong kadahilanan! So ayun, ngalakad-lakad kami sa city hall at napagpasyahan namin ni Karren na mag jip nlang kmi. So ngarag kung ngarag sa byahe bsta makapunta lang sa Sm. Halos puno ung nasakyan namin pero sabi ni mamang driver dalawa pa daw e di go naman kami pero pagakaupo ko di ko na mapasok ung buong katawan ko! Napansin ko na kalating pwetan lang ang nakaupo skin. Hay, ayun keri pa rin! Inaalis ko na ang lahat ng kaartehan sa kawatan ko. At pano ba naman si manong na katabi nmin eh parang walang pakialam. Mukhang todo upo pa rin siya. Napa-ungentleman! Hmpf! Ganito na ba tlga ang mga guys ngyon?! :(

5:30pm. Sa buong byahe namin, wala kaming kapaguran ni Karren sa pagkkwentuhan. Go kung go talaga ang mga bakla. Kahit napapasulyap na smin ang ibang pasahero dahil sa aming walang tigil na pagdadaldalan, wa care pa rin. hehe. Pero symepre di naman kami super maingay. Nakakatuwa lang kasi para kaming my sariling mundo na pati si mamang driver ng jip ay napapatingin na rin smin sa pamamagitan ng rearview mirror nya. hahaha!

6:00pm. Traffic. Nagsisimula na rin akong mangarag at makaramdam ng pagod. Pakiramdam ko nasa pagmumukha ko na ang lahat ng alikabok na maaring malanghap at dumikit sa balat. At mukhang malayo-malayo pa kami sa aming destinasyon. Trapik talaga sa kahabaan ng Quezon Ave. hay, d na nagbago. At byernes pa kaya ayun, mas lalong maraming tao sa kalye. Sa mga oras na to, marami na rin kaming napagusapan ng aking kaibigan. Halos lahat na ata ng topic eh aming natalakay na at nabigyan ng komento. Sympre my halong tawanan at joke time. Kahit nasa pampublikong sasakyan kami, keri pa rin.

7:00pm. Malapit na kami sa Sm, sa wakas!! Di ko akalain na bbyahe ako ng ganun kalayo. My malapit na mall naman smen dba?! Dumayo pa ako dun. Nakakatawa na ewan! HEHE! Grabayshush to the maximum level pero masaya naman at enjoy talaga ko.Parang adventure na rin para skin un. Kc first time ko at first time ko din makita ang Quezon City Circle. Ang pinagmamalaki ni Karren na teretoryo nyana ginagawa nmning biro. HAHA! Nakakatuwa. Wala lang. Ayan ang resulta ng pagiging lakwatsera ko.

7:30pm. Kumain muna kami sa KFC kasi sobrang gutom na kami. Nakadalawang rice ang lola mo! lafang kung lafang talaga kasi d ko ngmeryenda kaya ayun. D ko na napigilan ang gutom at nawala na ang pagka-finess ng bakla na umabot sa napapatingin nlang skin ung katabi naming babae(nsa kabilang table sila actually). Kala nya cguro d ko kumain ng buong araw. HAHA!

8:00pm. Nagsimula na kaming maglibot sa mall. Nakabili ng tig-isang damit ako at si Karren. Mahilig talaga kami sa ganun. Nagpapaka-adik kahit d naman dapat HEHE! sa masaya kami eh. Pero sa mga oras na to, pagod na ang katawan namin. Ngarag na tlg! pero ang utak namen, go go pa rin.Ayaw paawat. Nakukuha pa nming mag joke time at magusap ng kung anu-anu. In fairness, naibsan ng unti ang lungkot na aking nararadam at problema na meron ako dahil sa trip namin na yun.

9:00pm. Umalis na kami ng Mall. Pumnta na kmi sa Edsa para mag abang ng bus para makauwi ako. At pag minamalas-malas ka nga naman! Ang hirap sumakay. Ang hirap makahanap ng Aircon Bus na diretso samn! Ayoko kc ng ordinary dahil panigurado, baka d na ko makaabot smin ng buhay sa sobrang kaskasero ng mga driver. Halos ubos na ung kasabayan nmn naghihintay din ng bus e andun pa rin kmi ni Karren. Bangag na kmi, dinadaan lng nmn sa tawa at joke! Ng sa wakas, my nkita nrin ako na aircon. Natuwa namn ako dhil makakaupo nrin ako sa wakas. Inaantok na rin ang bakla. D ko na keri. Pero nagkamali rin pla ako, pati din pla si manong driver na bus na sinakyan ko, eh langya! Ang hilig sumingit at makipagunahan sa edsa na tipong la ng bukas sa kanya kaya ang resulta, di na ako natulog sa takot na bigla na lang akong sumubsob. Nakinig nalng ako sa aking ipod.

10:45pm. Ang layo talaga ng lugar na yun. Kakatapak ko lang sa gate namen. Antok na antok na ako. Parang bibigay na ang katawan ko, pati binti ko masakit na rin. Dahan-dahan ko pa binuksan ang pinto nmin para walang magsing sa mga kasam-bahay ko. D na ko kumain, dahil parang mapapapikit narin ang aking mga mata. nghilamos at natulog na lang. Maaga pa pala ako bukas dahil ako ay maylaboratory class pa. Hay.. *hikab*hikab*

So, sa kabuuan masaya naman ako. Nagenjoy kahit ang daming hassle. Simpleng trip lang na ganun, happy happy na ko. Mababaw sa tingin ng ibang tao, pero bakit ba?! walang pakialamanan. HEHE! Nawala sa isip ko panandalian ang problema na kinakaharap ko ngayong araw na to. Naaliw ako sa tamang trip namin. Sa uulitin mare. Di ko makakalimutan ang karanasan na toh. :)

Heart-to-Heart

We had a talked. Things been settled for the meantime. I dunno how long. It's better this way, i guess. It's what my heart speak of, and perhaps i realized this is what i really need all this time....No strings attached, but then the special place will always remain.