Chilly feeling.

Jeez! It's really chilly out here. I was wactching the news last night and it was reported that yesterday January 30, 2007 was the Coldest day ever here in our country. Really? hehe.. kidding aside it was really cold nowadays. I even feel it, actually almost all of the people seemed to notice that the weather changed from hot to cold breeze. I think I liked it more, only I'm not a winter person ever since cos i easily get chilled. I brought a jacket today and it's useful. Classroom's aircon has a high temperature and even outside the room, the cold feeling never cease. Especially while i was on the way home wee, so cold. HAHA! I heard that it could go on for days up to the first week of February or maybe until the Valentines's day. So for the lovers, a jacket is a must! or anything to keep you warm guys. =)

Off the topic. I had a six hrs vacant today. I dunno if i should be happy or annoyed? So much idle time for the day! I didn't have any laboratory class cos prof was not around. Mumay and me just stayed in pavillion to kill time. Hay, endless chit-chat. She never runs out of stories to tell. My minicake (mumay) is really talkative though she don't admit. HAHA! Waiting for 6pm class seems to be lame especially to find out that Atty. Luna (the prof.) was not around again. We just signed a petition letter for the Dean requesting to allow our class to make it one day with 3 straight hrs classes instead of splitting it into two meetings. It would be in favor for me so that my friday will not also suffer for another long vacant time. Yey!! We just headed home after school. Nothing much to do. But hey, friends and I are plannig to go to Tagaytay! Sheesh, I got excited! Date was not marked in the calendar but hoping it will be soon. Car show in Ortigas is something to look forward too. We want to watch! HAHA! Adik!

Let's talk about EMOTION.

What's my current state of mind? Actually I've been confused for a moment. I was torn between responsibility and being a free-spirit girl who just try to find her happiness. I guess I will be having a hard time explaining what's going in my life now. I can't actually say all things here, cos I still value my privacy that only people close to my life are allowed to intervene. Sharing a deep part of me is difficult for I'm always the secretive type. I may seem a real talker with friends but when it comes to my life, I don't actually say a lot of things. I'm more of a listener that the one who do the talking. I feel more giving an advice to somebody than me taking a bit of it. I'm really stubborn at times.

Love talks. Emotion give in. I knew it was coming, I just didn't take notice. I never knew this is the time. I thought I could still handle, i thought I can still make it work. But sometimes, all we have to do is let it happen for you can never stop what's meant to be. It's hard for me. Unusual to say these things. Maybe it's really true that something has to come along in able for you to realized important things. I have to do this before it's too late that could make me regret something in the end. I know i have to follow what my heart truly says: "It needs a break, for the meantime." I want to breathe for a while. I want to find myself. I think I lost my identity cos of being too much dependent to someone. I want to face the world on my own feet. Cos if i still stand to where I was, I would never know myself all along. Yeah, I want independence. I want to learn on my own without having the assurance that somebody is there waiting to be needed. I just could never learn that way, why? because I keep on coming back to him and hold on that results to being dependent all over again. It will be a vicious cycle.

I know it will be better that way. We will both learn from it. Especially me, i want to prove to myself that "You'll never know what you're missing until it gone" really works. Besides, guilty feeling will never be out. I had responsibities that need more of my attention than just being a happy-go-lucky person who just think of herself. Perhaps both of us could enjoy that set-up until I'm finally ready. Honestly, full happiness was out of my reach. I felt guilty, uneasy, uncomfortable and a bit unhappy all along. I just couldn't admit it to myself before. I keep on shielding that emotion inside me. I found out that I was a little freaky coward in the past. But now, realization strikes me. I already made up my mind. Maybe, this is the time i've been waiting for so long. I have to take the risks. I'm just so sorry for the hurt I might cause you..=( This is the only way i could think of to make things work. We need a little growing up. And in that way, we could learn to appreciate even small things. There are still lots of reason for this sudden outburst that I decided not to elaborate here and just keep it private.

I don't expect the world and it's people to understand what i'm going through right now. I don't have to explain myself to everybody. I don't asks for their sympathy or anything. It's my decision and no one provoked me. I took the risk and I'm willing take the consequences it might bring. I don't give a damn shi*t to people who seem to misjudge me for something they don't really know what it's all about! I just hope that if i might fall or the world would turn it's back on me in the end of the road..true friends will be there, ready to catch me and give me a tap saying things will be okey and they're hanging on. So goodluck to myself. Carry on.

Love can wait. Let's enjoy life cos we're still young. Lots of opportunities is still wating ahead of us. Though we let passed some of it, a new one can still come, who knows, it may be better than the last right? :) *wink*

New addiction.

YAHOO! I'm on flickr now. And I started uploading photos. I think i liked it more than in my Multiply HAHA! I also got my own badge! (that box with photos in my SnapShots in the side bar) another YEHEY to me. I preferred their features and how the photos are being presented. I got a new addiction..ya-ya-yay! I actually uploaded the nicey photos that i had ever since i was lured in taking photos especially me not being the subject! HEHE! I already stopped being a narcissist ok?! kidding. If you want to view my new photo gallery just go and click the My flickr in my sidebar. =) Comments is very much appreciated.

I had my exam in Envi and it absolutely makes my head ached a lot. I reveiwed last night although i got sleepy in the latter part (just continued it on the way to school), but when i got to read the questionnaire, oh my my! I think it was a nightmare! I just keeping my fingers cross at the moment. I had a consecutive exams for this week. I should take studies seriously this days. I had to set aside unncessary things that's been going on my life now. I need more focused on important things. Confused as i am, i have to control it before it controls me. I had to put my barriers up for the mean time.

A sudden realization.

It was a tiring day for me. My legs hurt. I was in North Edsa after school with my hunn, Karren. We stroll along the mall and had a talk. It just nice to spend time with her. Yeah, we see each other in school everyday of the week (except sunday of course!) but having a nice chit-chat makes my day bright. I really enjoy quality time. I also want to say sorry about last term mare. Sorry for being an idiot. Y'know my reasons. I just didn't made it clear to you and marianne before anything else. Nagtampo din ako snyu nun cos i feel outcasted whenever i go along with the girls. Feeling ko parang baliwala na ko sa nyu. Then karren admitted to me that they were really had a tampo din pala to me cos i acted as if i didn't know them whenever we passed along the corridors. Sorry, so much sorry mares. I felt like i missed a lot. That's why i became aloof and decided not to be with you for a while. Having a bf is not that important to me if it means losing the friendship that almost stands for years. Um, i wanna cry. ='( Thinking of that stupidity makes me realized a lot of things. I just really miss the good old times. I don't know if i have to give up something to make the other thing stay which also matters to me. I'm talking about a relationship with somebody and my relationship with my friends that i felt soo much happy whenever i'm with them. I know i don't have to choose between the two because i knew you wouldn't let me guys. Eww, i'm being dramatic! Anyhow, it's just a misunderstanding. Everything is starting to be clear in my vision. I'm actually trying to make up with the times that supposedly we could spend. I'm always here for you hunn (karren) and marianne. Eventhough mariel and jossie seems to have their own life, bhi-i-cube will stand still. I admire karren for being that strong. She's the one who never let go. Hail to you godmother! HEHE! The founder eh? kidding aside. Let marianne enjoys her own share of happiness with her bf. I know and i have faith that she'll be back. Like me, I know i have my share of mistakes and neglects but i did come back! Ready, alive and kicking for good memories that we're still be sharin. **Cheers** For a friendship which i know i would treasure and will surely lasts. Let's seize the moment before it gone.

It's bad to delete photos especially if it looks nice, interesting and something to cherish on. So i will just put here some of the pics that we took during vacant period and bonding time with hunn at the mall. I'm looking forward this coming Saturday, hope moolah will not be my problem.hehe..

bumming around!

I'm such a bum today! I don't wanna move even a single step. All i want to do is lie down in my bed and sleep! sleep! sleep! Good thing prof in ObCon is not around that' why i got home early. School is boring this day. Nothing special. Nothing interesting. Nothing different. I can't go out after school cos my allowance is just enough for the week. I'm just a way shy to ask for an extra when we're being teached to save money and do our own budgeting of allowance. It just there were days that i exceed to my limit that's why i suffer before the month ends for a shortage . HEHE! Didn't do anything unusual in my every day life. But hell! I'm craving for adventure. My feet is itchy. Ampf! Myhow, maybe i'll just share the photos taken a while ago while me and mumay is waiting for the rest.

It's better this way, i guess.

pairing my shoes with mumay, only mine is a chuck.

a Career talk.

Kuya allowed me to use his fone for a couple of days while his using mine. And of course! Camwhoring at school never fails. HAHA! Got addicted but we had fun. We never realized that time pass by quickly that it's almost 6pm. Motorola V3x is a way good. I liked the resolution of that phone. Only how, it's bulky and kinda big for my tiny hands. I'll try wooing mom for a brand new cellphone cos the one that i'm using now is starting to give up although not totally. I think my phone is asking for a break. HEHE! But i'm still gonna use it until I replace it with a new one.

We had a seminar in the AV room about Career talk of Industrial Engineers. I guess it's a success for the organizers. Us, the audience appreciate the talk that the guest speakers did. Well, i'm impressed with what they shared to us. The tips, the stories behid their success, the things that they've gone through, the nicey line that they've said and a lot more. Learning has never been fun like that. We got to acquire many ideas from them. I'm looking forward for a the next year Career Talk, when i'm already a senior. Pheew! Time really flies that fast.

I liked to end my post by quoting the words from one of the guest speaker which is currently working in Levis Strauss.

"Don't look for a job, look for a career."

And i agree.

what I want?

I want to see how beautiful life can be.
I want to see how would I be twenty years from now.
I want to see if there's tomorrow for you and me.
I want to see if you're my destiny.

*****

Giddyyeah! I'm inspired to write that kind of crap eh? i dunno. HAHA! shoot me. I actually don't have any decent to say for the mean time. Maybe i should take a break in blogging. watchatink guys? Oh! Um, i try. HEHE! But if i can't resist the call of my passion, y'know what it means.

Toodle-loo!

It goes like this.

Selfish.
Brat.
Sarcastic.
Unemotional.
Spoiled.
Materialistic.
Egoistic.
Sucker
Numb.
Drama-hater.
Coward.
Escaper.
Biatch.
Indecisive.


f*ck up!!

You like?

GYAHH! I changed my layout. I got worn out with the last. This is just my second skin from the moment i formally blog. It's more simple and fit to my taste. I'm just too lazy to put lots of stuff in my sidebar. Maybe when i have the whole day to do blogging. Besides, dial up really sucks!! I can't believe kuya is still not deciding whether to change it to broadband or dsl! I have to insist. HEHE! My Multiply site hasn't been updated for months i think. I have lots of photos to upload but doesn't have the time actually. Nothing much to say. Toodles!

I'm starting to kiss dating goodbye.

I gone shopping alone after school. Became an impulsive buyer but i'm happy la-de-da. Supposed to go on a teambuilding with karren and may @ sian's place but ended up nothing. Perhaps next week. I'm losing my apetite. Dunno why. Marianne and I shared the same dilemma. The past months, i just love eating but now it seems i was too preoccupied. Receive a text msg from someone while i'm in my laboratory class then everything turn's out black. Mood suddenly change then find myself confinding to Mayan during the lunch break. Puff! That's why i dropped by at the nearby mall in our place to ease up, and so ended up shopping. Too weird.

At night, i just plugged in my earphones and start listening to the good old song and let myself escape from solace and find peace in a place possible where no one could ever imagine, even for just a dream while finding comfort in my favorite pillow.

foundation day '07.

Masaya. Madaming booths. Iba-ibang pakulo. My klase pa rin. Di nagpaawat mga prof. Pero lang quiz. Nakisaya sa quadrangle. Tumambay sa Mountineering club. Nag-feeling member pero hindi naman. HAHA! Nag aspire mag climb and rapell pero natalo ng takot at hiya. Sa ibang pagkakataon siguro. Nakita si Spiderman (kuno) na nagrapell at nakakatuwa siya. Parang marunong na hindi. HEHE! Naglaro ng Marvel vs. ekek (di ko na matandaan eh) sa laptop ni kuya kim sa pag gabay ni sian. Kalaban ko si mumay pero natalo ako sa ilang round. Di kasi ako sanay. Pero ang pinaka hindi ko makakalimutan ay ung nanood ako ng Biz Show na to! sa quadrangle kasama ang mga kapwa ko IE. Masaya kami. Naaliw sa dalawang Dj ng Love radio 90.7 na si Nicole and Chris. Napatawa nila kami ng husto. Grabe! Napahagikhik at muntikan ng sumakit and panga sa sobrang paghalakhak sa mga banat nila. Nagpikchuran kami kasama ang mga kaibigan. Naranasan kong umupo sa gitna ng kwadrangle ng school habang nakatayo sa harap ko si mumay. Nag astang parang modelo sa pagtayo. HAHA! Tumawa ng tumawa kay Karren habang naglalaro siya ng game . Ung pagkuha ng lobo na nakapiring ka pero nakakasilip din sya. (hindi alam ng moderator un) HEHE! Balak ko din sanang subukan pero hindi ko na tinuloy. Pinilit si Toby na mag climb para makabenta si karren. Buti naman pumayag. HEHE! Iniisip kong maging applicant ng MC pero mukhang hindi ako capable, hanggang pangarap na lang siguro. Nagkaroon ng idea na mag apply din sa Pavillion Cardinals dahil sa masayang mga bek-bek pero natakot dahil sa kwento ni June nung ininduct sya. Gusto bumili ng bag ng PIIE kc my plus pts kay Sir Norona pero nagdalawang isip. Di ko din naman kasi trip ung bagelya nila. Ampf! Goodbye na lang bag! Kumain ng Pizza na di gaanung kasarapan dun sa booth ng Pizza Hut. Kumain din ng Saging con yelo kasama si mumay pero hindi rin masarap. Kulang sa lasa kasi take-out (lugi kami). Gusto pang manood ng talent show pero kailangan ng umuwi kasi sasabay ako kay mariel. Sabi nila masaya daw at nakakatawa. Nanghinayang tuloy ako. Dapat manonood din ako ng Mapua Cardinals pero nag back out, wala na kayang ticket tska ang mahal noh! La din naman akong susuportahan dun. HEHE! Humanga sa Car Show ng mga ME. Crush ko ung Hot Pink na kotse. Shemay! Astigg mga kotse na andun! Nakakaailw din. Yan lahat nangyari. Masaya din naman pero my oras na boring. Next year ulit! =)

Kowtsy kowt!

"God has given us this gift called LIFE but so many people don't even open the gift wrapper. What am i saying? Don't swallow.. Rather, taste, chew, savor and chew again all of life's experiences. Dance under the rain. Walk barefoot. Dream dreams and pursue them with all your heart. Smile at strangers. Pray like a child. Life is too beautiful to miss."

"We used to think that life is a fairytale. Full of magic, exciting, vivid! But that was a long time ago... Now we know that there's more to life than just "happily ever after..." We've learned that we get wiser each day and no fairy can lead us to a happy ending..We decide..we struggle..And somehow we begin to understand..that we have the power..to make each day better than yesterday. =)"

"Ophra says: Leaving a love you've suddenly outgrown can be heartbreakin, but it also shows you're str0ng enuf 2 walk away frm a relationship dat no l0nger makes u happy. Movin out of ur c0mfort zone can be downryt scary, but it also proves just how brave u r 2 take on the unknown. Stronger, braver, wiser..U always do a little growing up everytym u do a little letting go.. "

emotional suicide.

Tears and Rain
James Blunt

How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I'm so cold from fear.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

friends keep me alive.

I'm broke! Spell the word! Allowance is keeping me tight. I've been going out with friends lately and my one month allowance is getting me sick! Huhu! I haven't save anything yet. Most of the time we eat (yeah! foodtrip with mae) but i don't regret even if it's out of my plan for this term and to my oh-so-called new yr's resolution. HEHE! I miss my girlfriends. I've been with them most of the time. I am nostalgic to the laugh, kilig moments, kakikayan, teasing, gigling and a lot more! I spent my vacant period with them. Um, i'm really the kind of person who's very attached to my friends. I just can't live without their company. Funny moments is not complete without these guys . Yeah, i treasured a friend soo much! I may look unfriendly but if you know me more, i can make out friends easily. I may look mataray and suplada at first look but when you start talking to me, you can go out of the room with a smile in your face. I know who to treasure and who will just pass along. Although i'm not the mushy type of girl, i know how to made my friends feel special. I know how to make the friendship stay alive and keep burning. Petty fights is normal, it makes us more strong. I lablablab you guys!! You're worth the shot! I miss bhi-i-cube. I try catching up in the lost time with mayan and kenken. And the rest of my mare's: JoC, Mariel, Junejune, Mumay. You mare's really made me laugh real hard. HAHA! I can be me when i'm with them. My devil twin comes out when we start joking and teasing each other. We have to make the most of out time together cos time will pass out for all we know. I'll still be here for you guys! *huGs&kisses* *mwaauuh!* **super yakap ng mahigpit**

Me, Mayan. Mumay and Karren!

Colorful guys!

Ang kukulit nila! HEHE!

It bothers me the most.

Mama is leaving today. I am supposed to come along in the airport but ended up staying at home. I gonna miss mama, that's for sure. It will be long before i could see her again. I hope she can come in my graduation day. *Happy trip Ma =)* Although your vacation was not all about going to places here but rather for you to rest, we understand. You need it the most.

I'm still undecided. But i think i have to face the reality even if it scares me a lot. Things should be clear before it's too late. But i don't know where to start. My mind is saying lots of things but words can't be found to utter it. I kept asking myself why does it have to come along? This kind is feeling caught me real hard! I wasn't expecting it to happen. It just came along my way. =( Can i still fix it? Can i still make it back? There are lots of question that's been bothering me. I'm scared. But i have to face it. Now or never!! =[

I'm on a high! *Last day of World Pyro Olympics '07*

We were on the last day of Pyro Olympics! Same venue, same viewing place, same crowd, same company. More happiness, more photos, more memories, more laughters.

After all the hassle specifically the traffic which was worst than the last time we went! We left school before 6 o'clock. Pictures would never be out in the scene. HAHA! I preferred photos than video. My digicam has lots of it. When the fireworks become visible in the dark sky I start to click my camera ,then i couldn't be stop anymore! I just love taking photos! I am with the same people again, lots of funny moments. We had a good laugh while waiting for the show to start. And i'm starting to miss that! I'm really nostalgic eh?! forgive me. If ever an event like that will happen again, without second thought, we will go! Even if i have to make a great excuse to the parents to allow me in sleep over in some friends house.

China was good! And the Philippines? Woohho! Great!! I was suprised in what they've shown to the crowd. Despite of some bad side comments for the Philippines, we still appreciate what they have. It cost them a lot, i think. And my god! Karren was about to start a fight with some noisy people at our back cos she kept contradicting the unlikely comments of some guys about the Philippines. But in fairness to the our country, their fireworks can compete with other countries although they didn't cos they're the one who hosted the event. I hope it will happen again next year, and still in the Philippines! *cross fingers* This event of the year will be one of my memorable happenings with friends.

China

Philippines

Friday!

I went along with Mariel all the way to Marikina to visit Mark at the hospital. He has been confined since yesterday i think cos of high fever. It just sad for mark that he spent his birthday at the hospital bed. (yesterday was his birthday). My 6 hrs vacant for this day has not been wasted for nothing I already said yes! to mariel when she asked me if i could go with her. We stayed there for an hour, then headed back to school to catch up my 6pm class for the day. We arrived early so i met up with Mumay then headed to my classroom only to find out that my prof will not be around. Yeabah! I don't really like the class since all of my classmates are in higher year. We feel outcasted with the crowd. Plus the prof! I just advanced that subject though. Hmmm, anyhow nine weeks will past off quickly. I headed up to Sm Manila with friends and do some window shopping. It was really nice that Karren, (my shopping partner) is really on the high in looking for nicey-girly-thing and we shared the same taste with regards to that. HAHA! We know what brand suits us.. We had our late dinner and headed home but wtf! Buses in the terminal seems to loose their population. That's what i hate in Lawton! Grrr..! I waited for almost an hour before it finally came after a zillion times. Got home late cos of that. Traffic was still there. It seems to be a tiring day for me!!

I'm still undecided. blah-blah-blah whatever!

Tumitibok.

Naguguluhan ang damdamin.

Bakit parang ang hirap mong abutin?

Dapat ba akong sumagal?

May bukas ba para sa'ting dalawa? =(

feelings inside.

I don't know what's up with me now. My mind been rattling! LOVE is a big BLAH for me. I need to think. I have to make decisions. I have to make sure. It's hard. So many reasons i wouldn't elaborate much. Words to be spoken that would not make me regret when i start to utter. Happiness couldn't be measure by what the eyes can see. Sometimes you have to go deeper in a person's heart to see what's inside of her. Because there's a point that words should be better left unsaid. Don't be fooled by what you see. You'll never know that perhaps she's crying inside.

Ordinary day.

I am supposed to do my research in a couple of my subjects this term as a homework but i ended up blogging. HAHA! I got home early. My class was only until 12 o'clock. We went to Mall of Asia to buy a gift for him. He choose what he likes. It's my late birthday and christmas gift to him. The gift should be a suprised ayt? but what like more is that the person would really like what i will give. That's why i always asks what they like for a gift, same as to me HAHA! He said he likes some accessories for his new PSP and so there we are, try to look for it in the mall and then when we found one, i already paid in the cashier. hehe!

We had a late lunch at Italianni's and wow! Their one serving of food was good for two person i think. My tummy already got full when my food didn't even reached into half the plate. HAHA! But it's good to eat there, no lots o f people and even the mall was empty. It's really during the weekend where it's always in full blast because of the family day.

I arrived at school 30 minutes late. Grrr! The traffic is really a shiitt!! And at last, my envi prof arrived this time. But i felt sleepy during his discussion. HEHE! I can't remember how many times i yawn. Uhhh, kinda boring.

I miss watching movies! I'm planning to buy a dvd series in Quiapo. HEHE! Anyhow, i should start doing my homework before i got sleepy again. Ciao!

I'm a sucker for fireworks! *The 2nd World Pyro Olympics*

I'm happy!..la-la-la..in the real sense of the word. =) HAHA! I finally had the chance to watch the 2nd World Pyro Olympics this year. After all the hassle, at last my dream came true. HAHA! My being shallow creeps me. We were supposed to watch it yesterday but Karren had a class until 9pm so we just headed home with a sad face. But today! We really made it! Traffic is such a hell! Just hate it. We arrived at the mall about 6pm. So many people bushing around. It's really crowded. We bought first the tickets then find a place to eat before we enter the venue. People really anticipate the Pyro Olympics. Even the parking lot was loaded, the supemarkets, the hallway, the restaurants as in the whole mall!

When the fireworks presentation starts, people become excited including us. US was the first one to show what they've got followed by Spain. I can't remember how many times we utterd the "wow!, uhh, woohh! ganda!" HAHA! Karren, Mumay and me were really giddy that time. I realized that watching fireworks as good as that was romantic! I'm always been a sucker for fireworks. I love looking at the sky and anticipate how it will be. The fireworks there was really really great! Different colors, different shapes, the sound of it, the combination..all was perfect! Especially the shape of heart and flower that more looks like a sunflower. Too bad i didn't bring along my digicam with me. I just took some photos from a Motorola phone. We're planning to go again in the last day on Saturday. Philippines is going to have a special presentation on that day. For sure, i will bring my cam on Sat! HEHE! It's a must. I hope the plan will push through, then gimmick afterwards. HAHA!

I will never forget this day. One of the memorable for me this year. yehey! The year is starting right for me eh. HEHE! Mumay, karren, Joc, rj, ewie and some of his friends. Yeah, we watched the fireworks all together.

I got home around 3:30am. Good thing the parents didn't interogate me. I texted them before that i will be going with friends to watch the pyro. The traffic cannot be stopped! We got out of the parking lot almost 1:30 in the morning. Considering we're on the 5th level, cars aren't moving. grrr! I even took a nap at the car and when i open my eyes, we're still there. Stuck as if we will stay there for a lifetime.

Anyhow, i still enjoyed that day! Hmmm, happyhappyhappy. HEHE! photos, laugh, food, excitement, experience, expression, and a lot more.

thoughtsaresoloud!

Malungkot. Malalim. Malabo. HIndi ko maipaliwanag. Parang my kulang. Nakakamiss. Hindi kuntento. Kulang ang kasiyahang nararamdaman. Hinahanap ka. Isa sigurong pagkakamali, pero iba ang dating. Kasalanan? Di ko matanto. Dapat ko na bang tigilan ang kabaliwang ito o ituloy ko dahil baka sakaling my magandang kalabasan. Isang buhay na mas masaya sa piling mo at hindi sa kanya? Ngunit di ko maarok kung ano ako sa'yo. Sapat na ba na ako lamang ang nakakaramdam? Isang pagsasamang kaibigan lang ba ang ating destinasyon o dapat kong ituloy ang byahe? Pero di ako sigurado kung sasama ka ba sa byahe ko, baka sa aking paglingon, ako nalang pala... nagiisa. Ewan ko. Naguguluhan ang aking isip at damdamin. Dapat ko na atang tigilan ang aking kabaliwan. Tatagal ka ba sa buhay ko o isa lamang hanging dadampi sa aking pisngi upang bigyan ako ng panandaliang ligaya. Nais kong malaman. Pero natatakot ako. Pati ang aking sarili, hindi ko rin maintindihan. Ayokong magtanong, baka ikasugat ng aking puso ang iyong isasagot. Alam kong maikling panahon pa lang and nagugugol kaya ang puso'y di mapakali at takot. Dapat ba akong sumugal? Handa ba akong talikuran ang lahat para sa piling mo na nababalutan ng dilim? Hindi ko maarok, hindi ko makuha. Dapat ko bang palipasin ang panahon kasabay ng aking nararamdam at baka sakaling aking mapagtanto na isa ka lang panaginip na ninanais kong makapiling? Dapat ko bang hintayin ang tamang pagkakataon? Pero paano kung ito na ang inaasam asam ko?

Bsta ang alam ko masaya nakakaaliw, nakakatuwa at my halong kilig pag ako'y nasa piling mo at kausap ka kahit and distansya natin ay di lang isang dangkal. Hindi ko mawari kung isa lang ba itong ilusyon. Ngunit, magkaiba ang ating mundo. Nasa taas ka, nasa baba ako. Alam kong ika'y simple lang nguni't dapat ba tayong maghawak kamay? Kaya ko bang sumama sa mundong iyong ginagalawan at ika'y skin? Kaya mo ba? Posible bang ang mundo nati'y magtagpo sa pagkakataong ito? Kung akin lang mababasa ang nilalaman ang iyong puso, sana ngayo'y hindi ako ganito na tulirong nagiisip. Sana ako'y matulungan mo.

Gusto kong asamin ang isang pagsasama sa tabi mo.Nais kong maramdaman kung pano magmahal at mahalin ang isang tulad mo. Ngunit paano kung ito pala'y di mo kayang tumbasan? Lahat ng aking hinihiling ay di mo pla kayang ibigay? Isang nakakalungkot na pangayayari sa aking buhay kung iyon ma'y magkakatotoo. Pero andyan ang posibilidad.

Nais ko lamang talaga malaman kung my puwang ba ako sa iyong puso. Kung parehas ba tayo ng nararamdaman kahit sa maikling panahon lamang na tayo'y nagkasama at nagkapalagayang- loob. Nais kong mapagtanto kung dapat ko bang ituloy upang tayo'y magkaroon ng magandang kinabusan o matuloy lamang sa isang huwad na hinaharap sa piling mo? :(

Isang kaibigan lang ba ang papel ko sa buhay mo? =[

Sana'y magkatotoo ka.

Sana ika'y aking makasama kahit sandali. Sana ang makapiling ka'y matupad. Iba ang pakiramdam pag kausap ka. Iba ang kilig pag ika'y iniisip. Sana'y di ka mahirap abutin. Sana'y maging maganda ang bukas para satin kung tayo'y may para sa isa'tisa. Sana'y mapagtanto mo rin kung ang halaga ko sa buhay mo. Sana'y mapansin mo din ako, isang nilalang na handang sumugal makapiling ka lang. Sana'y iyong maramdaman ang isinisigaw ng aking puso at kaluluwa. Sana'y maging isa ako sa taong di mo kakayaning mawala. Sana'y kaya mong bumaba sa yong kinalalagyan upang ako'y iyong maabot. Sana'y kaya mong isugal ang lahat kapalit ng ligaya sa piling ko. Sana'y maging higit pa sa kaibigan ang pagatinging iuukol mo skin. Sana'y mapagtanto mo kung may puwang ba ako dyan sa puso mo. At higit sa lahat, sana'y lahat ng aking inaasam ay magkatoto. Sana'y habang maaga pa malaman ko mula sa'yo. Masulyapan ka lamang ako'y masaya na. Makita ka lamang abot langit na ang aking ngiti. Nakakalungkot lamang isipin na andyan ka nga pero parang ang hirap mong abutin.

Dapat ko pa bang ituloy ito kung parang baliwala lang ako sa'yo?

Marahil isang karaniwang kaibigan lang ako para sa'yo.